O Lord I have set my face like flint.
I am prepared to take a step
out of the boat of financial certainty—
at least the certainty that comes
from my own hands on the oars—
and onto the waves of raising support.
You have hearkened me to take courage,
for it is you who has called me to come,
who has given me a vision of what could be,
along with the conviction of what must be.
Love compels me,
and I say yes.
While at the same time, I also say,
Lord, save me!
What have I done?!
Do you see these waves?!
The distance between where I am and where you’ve called
has grown into an abyss that seems unable to cross.
Thus I confess to you today’s particular discouragements
that threaten to plunge me like a millstone bound to my feet.
Let the supplicant here cast his or her cares onto the Lord. These may include:
Doubt that provision will come
Isolation in the midst of a culture that says, “Earn your own keep”
Impatience with the process
Disappointment with the lack of support from family and friends
Embarrassment from having asked
Bitterness from the lack of response or followthrough
Confusion on what step to take next
Fear of having exhausted one’s relational network
Entitlement in having risked so much
Despair of getting past a certain percentage raised
Weariness in the work
In my distress I cry to you Lord,
I cry to my God for help.
Let it come into your ears—
reach out your hand and catch me!
Pull me onto the surer ground
where uncertainty acknowledged to you
becomes an opportunity to know your grip
like never before.
Give me the resolve like Nehemiah,
who, when asked by the king
what he wanted
in order to fulfill the vision in his heart,
responded first
by appealing to the King of heaven.
King of heaven,
please provide for _____. (the supplicant may add the name of the mission here)
I submit to
your timing
your ways
your demands
for the effort I must make.
But I do boldly ask for _____. (the supplicant may add a specific request here)
When the responses are “yes”
let me give you praise
and keep asking.
When the responses are “no”
let me give you praise
and keep asking.
As tangible evidences of your grace to me,
and as an expression of my gratitude to you,
thank you for _____. (the supplicant my add the names of recent supporters here)
Grant that I may love these your supporters
not as nameless donors
who pay and stay out of the way;
nor as venture capitalists
who demand return on investment;
but as fellow workers for the truth,
and partners in the gospel.
In my uncertainty I am certain of this:
when this part of the work is done,
I want to have become a different person.
Not ground down to a metallic dust
that others will have to drink as I recover.
But renewed in the image of the One
who found joy in every hard journey.
I know you to be the God
who will supply all my needs
according to the riches
of your glory in Christ Jesus.
So to you, my God, be glory
forever and ever.
Amen.
This liturgy was originally featured at The Upstream Collective.